Nephophobia: 2009

I woke up on another bathroom floor. What day is it? Can't find my underwear... What was I wearing? I raise my hand to touch my foreheadand bring down a damp scarlet fluid. I lick my fingers clean and find a pair of pants behind the dirty, broken toilet. They aren't fresh but they'll do.

The bathroom is freezing and I realize my shirt is torn. That was the only one I had left. I cautiously step over the ice cold broken floor tiles painted tastfully with the metallic smelling crimson nectar of the carrion against the wall. The shirt it wears is black. The blood doesn't show. Long blonde hair is tangled around an angelic androgynous face that blankly stares up at me. Such a pretty body covered in such filth. How did the flys get in?

Just for kicks, here are 101 random facts about me. Maybe you'll learn something that you didn't already know! (borrowed from EYEGIRL)

1. I love Dr. Pepper.
2. I hate Diet anything (it's super gross).
3. But I drink mostly Kool-aid (YUM!).
4. I have IBS and Chrone's. IT SUCKS BALLS!
5. Even right now my stomach hurts.
6. I love going on walks.
7. I consider myself an only child as of January.
8. My favorite color is Green.
9. I'm not afraid of spiders.
10. But when I kill one I have to flush it down toilet, just to make sure it's not going to come back to seek revenge. (I do too!)
11. I terrified of aliens.
12. And car wrecks. I almost cried when we got into a car wreck driving down to Santa Cruz to see Keith.
13. I love toast! It's a plain but delicious food. When Mandy worked at Atz's and I was still friends with her and Kachina I ALWAYS ordered toast.
14. I love bike rides.
15. They are pretty much the best thing EVER.
16. My favorite holiday is Halloween.
17. I hate stupid ignorant fucks that hand out abortion pamphlets in little kids trick or treat bags.
18. I want to go to the college in Berkeley.
19. I love vampires.
20. But I like werewolves even more.
21. Zombi(es) come in 3rd. TEAM ZOMBI.
22. I had 3 weiner dogs.
23. They were the best things in the entire world.
24. My favorite was Fritz. I bought him when I was 8 years old after I had surgery with the $300 I got from the make a wish foundation.
25. I love reptiles.
26. I really like red wine.
27. Amanda is the closest friend I've had for the longest period of time (almost ten years).
28. I have horrible hand writing.
29. I write in half print, half cursive.
30. I am NOT secretly in love with Davey Havok. We are going to get married someday.
31. My favorite season is Fall.
32. If I could change any one thing about myself it would be the symmetry on my face.
33. Thanks to a not awesome brain tumor I am horribly self conscious about the right side of my face.
34. I have the same teeth as my dad including his gap... but luckily i was able to get braces.
35. I want to keep taking fire dancing lessons and i will as soon as I got $80.
36. I hated high school.
37. But loved college.
38. I dropped out though because IPFW doesn't challenge me enough and I got REALLY lazy.
39. Hopefully with hard work I can put myself through college in Berkeley.
40. I miss riding critical mass, but I don't own a bike anymore.
41. Depending on the economy maybe I'll still be able to move to chico in a year or 2.
42. Maybe Kayla and Jon will still join me :D
43. I need to change my sleep schedule.
44. I wish I HAD a sleep schedule.
45. Sometimes I think babies are cute.
46. Then I remember how much it would hurt to try to pop one out of my vag hole.
47. Sorry, babies aren't for me.
48. The weird part is, I already have names for the kids I'll never have.
49. I plan on Skydiving within the next few years.
50. And if I sell my bass, I'll be able to afford it!
51. I can't wait to buy a dog.
52. I can't fall asleep without a blanket or pillow between my knees.
53. The midwest sucks.
54. That's why I don't live there anymore.
55. But I love "horror" movies.
56. MY BLOODY VALENTINE SUCKED ASS. Even in 3-D. The production of it was horrible.
57. 2001 Maniacs is my favorite movie with Trailer Park of Terror pulling a close second.
58. My favorite movies use to be Ginger Snaps and Party Monster.
59. I STILL love them though.
60. Sometimes when I look at Ava and she's getting into stuff she shouldn't I want to trade places with her and see what goes on in that little one year old head of hers.
61. If I could get paid to read that would be the greatest job on the face of the earth.
62. I wish my parents would've never gotten married.
63. I wish that when my mom filed for divorce for the second time she would've done it down in Georgia like she told me she was going to.
64. I miss my cousin Carlos (who for some reason goes by Oz). He use to talk to me everyday. My mom would've went to Georgia like she promised, I could've gone to college with him.
65. My favorite actress is Helena Bonham Carter. I want to be just like her.
66. My favorite Disney movies are the Sword in the Stone, The Black Cauldron and Sleeping Beauty.
67. As much as I hated high school, I wish I would've been more irresponsible when I was there.
68. I fucking HATE weddings.
69. I want to marry a gay man, I have known this since I was 14.
70. I look forward to the day that I sell my car and no longer have the responsibility of driving.
71. I love to read.
72. Some of my favorite books are Filth and the Rules of Attraction.
73. I think Bear Grylls is a sexy man. I'd make out with him even though he drinks his own pee.
74. I hate steak, but the steak Jon made me my last night in Fort Wayne was the best piece of meat thats ever been in my mouth.
75. I can't wait to be vegetarian again!
76. I hate the taste of milk.
77. I fucking love chocolate soy milk.
78. Growing up really loved my dad and thought he was the greatest thing ever.
79. It's funny how growing up shows you different, he did everything to me that he did to my brother, and more.
80. My favorite car I've ever owned was my 1968 Ford Mustang! That thing was a beast even if it was super unreliable.
81. I can't wait to go rock climbing again!
82. As a kid I hated pizza, because of the tomato sauce. I thought anything even remotely related to a tomato was disgusting.
83. I still hate ketchup.
84. I'm really stubborn. got it from my dad.
85. I remember when I found out Santa Claus wasn't real. I was in preschool and I thought to myself... how is some fat guy sneaking into every house in just one night... and why don't poor kids get presents?
86. My dad loves Queen and Iron Maiden, but he will NEVER admit that Freddy Mercury was gay.
87. My brother left my life as quickly as he came into it.
88. I never met my brother until I was 11 or 12.
89. Even though I've only spent a handful of times with him, those are some of my best memories.
90. Him and his wife always treated me like an equal and never like a child or an annoying little sister.
91. I'm kinda bummed that they never had kids.
92. My brothers mom even though I've only met her a few times, always sent me brithday cards and get well cards, Even when I was in the hospital all summer long having surgeries.
93. I met my brothers mom YEARS before I ever met my brother.
94. She was pretty cool.
95. I wish my eye's were green.
96. My stepgrandma is the only person who I will acknowlegde as my grandparent.
97. My stepdad was the only dad my sister ever had... or i ever had for that fact.
98. but i was so stubborn I never accepted him into my life.
99. That is my biggest regret ever and I feel horrible that I didn't realize that until after he passed away.
100. I will make up for it though by taking care of his mom whom I love with all my heart and will never turn away.
101. I hope that they both know that I love them and will never cease to.